By the end of the summer I felt proud, grounded, effective, well rested and ready to tackle all of the transitions associated with back to school. I worked more hours and harder than previous summers and I camped more than in the past as well. Still sailed too (of course!) When I was at work I did not check emails, when I was at play I did not work, yet it all got done! I really want to encourage mindfully present uni-tasking as a new trend  in self care and personal/professional efficiency.  Imagine bringing your full self to each and every encounter you had! How much do you show up now, 20, 40 50%? If you are interested or curious about it feel free to write or call, I would love to support you in this undertaking.  Know also that it often takes about 6 weeks of diligent practice to create a new habit in your way of being…. An Easter challenge?

This past week, with the prompting of a friend, I spiritually reconnected with a forest near us several times. It reminded me of a workshop I have given in the past ‘Breathing Trees’, about the wisdom and inspiration and wellness that you can access just by being in their presence. It was at one of those workshops that I learned the Japanese have a word for this: shinrin-yoku – wood-air bathing.  There is scientific evidence that being in forests, old growth forests in particular, can improve mood and produce beneficial physiological changes.  Improving type 2 diabetes among other things. “the forest environment causes changes in hormonal secretion and autonomic nervous functions… walking in a forest environment has other beneficial effects…” This is a quote from the abstract of a published article in the International Journal of Biometerology available at http://www.springerlink.com/content/c75574xfthd7l9w7/

Rather than attempt to articulate all the gifts that can come of this I would like to send you to an amazing link: http://www.terrain.org/articles/14/maloof.htm

I would love to hear what you think of it, or even better hear of your experiences in forests…..

In gratitude for all the gifts so readily available to us, Tara

I wish that could be the happily ever after, but just like with changing any other habits or children’s behaviours, setting the intention- even embodying the intention, is only the beginning. The first two weeks I have to say were pretty easy, just like in parenting, the novelty of the new way of being makes for a bit of a honeymoon effect.  By the third week though my realities were in high competition with my intentions.  We were well and truly back into our regular routines and it was like trying to do all the same things differently. I coud feel the constriction of all the ‘have tos’ threaten to wipe out the expansion of my fullness. In parenting this is where the children will often engage in testing the limits. “Is this for real’, the children question with their behaviours, are mom and dad really going to keep doing it this new way? Same thing was going on for me internally, like my ‘ego’ was challenging my spirit. Am I really that ‘big’, look how small my world really is!  I listened but did not get too connected to the doubts and challenges that came from within and stayed in touch with my gratitude for all the work I had done to get to this point. My conviction was strong but so was my egoic doubt. 4th and 5th week i did a variety of things to just ‘be with’ the doubt, and in staying with it I became more deeply in touch with the underlying fear of being seen in my full power. What was different, is that instead of being sucked into it and acting out from it, or giving up, I could compassionately be with it. I felt the fear, pain, uncertainty, and frustration but did not let it sway me from my intention. It was a very tough slog as I could put many arguments, rationales and obstacles in my way but somehow the deep work that had gone on before and never totally loosing sight of my conviction helped me stay my course. It also helped that I had made a public declaration and have an amazing support team in place. Today, the doubts and fears are quieter, I woke up with renewed conviction, a maintenence plan, and a confidence boost. I do not think that the work is ever fully done AND that too is part of being a fully embodied, connected human. There will always be bumps and hurdles but there are also capabilities and habit changes that can amass to ‘ways of being’ changes. So today I  declare lookout world, I am stepping out! I truly invite you to join me on your journey of becoming more fully who you are. If you need support or the occasional reminder of your full potential I can be that and/or help you develop that too. I would love to hear from you, take care, Tara

If I had not received the call from the school, I would not have noticed her lateness and would not have called around looking for her.  Now, with that alerting, I waited, a bit teary and trembling, focused at the window for her to appear in the driveway. Those minutes felt like an eternity, many freaky scenarios went through my mind and while part of me wanted to get out there to scour the neighbourhood I had a deeper knowing that I was best to stay put as she would appear any moment.  She did.  She had walked home a friend that had missed his stop and brought a friend with her so that no one was walking alone. They had even sent a sibling to let the other family know what was up, they just did not call here.

On one of the ‘have you seen my daughter’ phone calls, the mother said “What would you do if you did not know anyone”? The power of that question is what prompted this post. It brought home in a visceral way how lucky we are and in retrospect how grateful I am for the community we live in and have built around us. While I am grateful that the school has this check in system it would be even better if their system could accommodate a busload of late students.  I am grateful that my daughter has friends that know and connect with her every day and that I have a connection with those families. And it is this strong sense of support and being held in community that prompted the creation of HeartMind Consulting in the first place!

I have skills, training, experience, and most importantly passion for building individual and community sufficiency. I really believe that part of each of our resourcefulness is knowing who in our community has that resource and having a comfortable relationship with that person to be able to share (give and receive) that resource. I would love to create a hub of/for resouce sharing. Not just an impersonal list of links, a real meeting place where we can really feel the fit or not of the richness of our community. I feel we could co-create this sharing what we have to offer. I do not know technologically how to do this, perhaps guest blogs? comment streams? I would love to host an individual/ community sufficiency workshop. … I would love to hear your ideas. I believe that each of us can develop our individual sufficiency to where we feel good about who we are and that we can be inspired but what we do and how we live (that is the passion I share/develop in my coaching). Yet I have a related belief that we cannot do it all on our own, we need a strong resource base of support as we develop our own resourcefulness. Combined individual and community resouces enhance our sense of community and as we build community and capacity through these relationships!

For a variety of reasons I spend the majority of my life coming from my head.  It was a strategy I developed to cope with some of  the chaos and unpredictability of my early years.  It became automatic to sense into the environment and if there was tension I would scoop up into my head, thus disconnecting from my bodily experience of the tension, and get focused on planning what to do. I believe that this strategy was reinforced by the mistaken belief that in doing so I left the tension and therefore became safe.  This was both true and not, it resulted in me becoming uncomfortable with more intense emotional experiences (both positive and negative).  As an adult when I felt the tension building I was more likely to start doing something to get away from or dissipate the tension (or freeze if i feel trapped in it) than to actually stay with it all the way through.  Intensity had been mis-associated with potential danger and definite vulnerability in my body for a long time. While my strategy served me magnificently in some ways i.e., I always have/had a plan, a back up plan,  a rationale etc. I have lived on my own since my teen years, received a variety of post secondary degrees, have always been employed, and bymost standards would appear to be successful. That is, my ‘scooping up’ strategy or  ’intellectual determinism’ has covered for (i.e.,numbed)some deeper fears and prevented me from having deeper richer experiences. In fact in some ways, coming from my head has perpetuated the wounding that sent me there in the first place.  That is, by cutting off from my body, I denied myself an ability to become more comfortable with uncertainty, I denied myself access to a wealth of knowledge-the wisdom of my body, and most importantly of staying in connection to myself and others.  So, I was perpetuating the myth that only by thinking can I really be around others (i.e., be safe).

In the last decade I have consciously, deeply reconnected with my body in a variety of ways, kundalini yoga and paint your dance being two… The joy and wealth of what I receive in reconnecting with me has been the impetus to keep staying in connection with all of me, rather than exclusively going into thinking and doing at the expense of feeling.  There have also been some amazing somatic exercises and self observations along the way that have deepened my understanding of my way of being on a physiological level. These I have picked up from a variety of sources but most notably Presence Based Coaching. With the wealth of this ‘embodied data’, i.e., self-awareness I made notceable shifts in my way of being with myself and with others. I feel the connection and stay, it is not always easy but it is alway more rewarding and I have become much more resourced within myself and in the community with whom I stay in connection.  If you can relate to some of this please feel free to comment below.  Or if you  would like to explore what incredible wisdom your body has to offer contact me at HeartMindConsulting, in Cowichan Bay BC in person, by phone (250) 732-5305 or by email Tara@HeartMindConsulting.com in connection, Tara

Coaching is a practical way to gain insight and change outdated ways of being. It allows you to be at choice with behaviours, to continue to do it as you always have OR decide to try something new.  In this space of increased awareness of behavioural choices new options become available and therefore overcoming blocks becomes much more realistic.  As your coach I will offer the support you need to achieve your goals. Coaching at HeartMind Consulting is likely to include engaging your mind, body, heart,  intellect, and powers of self-observation.  While you are ultimately in the driver’s seat it is a collaborative process of inquiry and insight. I ‘hold the space” and create a safe environment for you to gain a deeper understanding of your brilliance and potential as well as what holds you back and prevents you from more fully realizing that potential.  Often there is a clash of values at the core of the block and in bringing this into fuller awareness a re-evaluation and shift in or reaffirmation of current perspective(s) becomes available. It is generally quite an enjoyable process, getting to know yourself better and  become more of who you really want to be.  Not that there is not some challenges as things are revealed but rather that with the resources you develop you can meet them with compassion and ultimately choose to move beyond them or reintegrate them differently.  It is really all about creating choices and who would not want more options.

For a free phone consult email me at Tara@heartmindconsulting.com to set up a time

There is more to it than this though. When life is approached with a ‘race’ frame of reference, at the end of the race we are exhausted and need down time to recouperate. If the race ends at 8am  and we are already needing a break before the day really gets started, it makes for a much longer day or race after race after race! No wonder we flop into bed exhaused at the end of each self-imposed marathon! When we race our muscles are tensed, ready for action, being tense in and of itself is a more tiring way to go through life, it creates unnecessary wear and tear on the body and it is likely to put others around us on guard as they pick upon the tension. This can also create the atmosphere of competition i.e., winner/looser and other dicotomies that are not conducive to a cooperative time together.  It invites others to avoid us as we become synonomous with the tension  This combination of tension and lack of cooperation likely makes everything take a little longer, so it is totally counterproductive!

At HeartMind Consulting we can help you reconnect with what is important to you. To facilitate your ability to bring forward the values and/or commitment(s) you want to live true to, to model, in your life.  We can individualize a simple practice for you to connect with them daily and start to notice when you are living in or out of alignment with what is true and important for you. For more information on leaving the race behind or living life more true to who you are comment here or email Tara at Tara@heartmindconsulting.com Thanks, take a deep breath and have a spacious day!

They were designed to monitor your heart rate variability, did you know your heart rate is constantly changing throughout the day? The reason this monitoring data is relevant to you, is that improved heart-rate variability is a positive indicator of your physiological and perhaps even neurological system’s ability to effectively manage stress. We all would like to feel less stress and more coherent, wouldn’t we?! Heartmath (heartmath.com and heartmath.org), the developers of EMwaves define coherence as a state of synchronization between the heart, brain and nervous system.  In fact, their research suggests that over time as you improve your heart rate variability you can actually have a positive effect on your learning and neurology as well. The time commitment is not ownerous, 5-10 minutes, 1-  3 times a day.

I have had some amazing results using them to help people self-monitor their stress levels and more importantly see the impact of any techniques they are using to reduce their stress or anxiety and/or just daily life circumstances they are in. There is a trainer of marital therapists (bestmarriages.com) that uses this in his couples sessions, unless each person is in a state of high coherence no one is to talk. I have had success with children and adults in managing anxiety more effectively, developing self-regulation, developing a mindfulness practice etc. Feel free to ask me about developing an individualized way to use an EMwave as part of your overall wellness plan.  If you are local to Cowichan Bay BC, please come in for a trial, I loan them out of HeartMind Consulting best, Tara@HeartMindConsulting.Com

Today I would just like to briefly introduce you to one idea.  A friend and colleague reminded me that humans are always practicing, in fact we can’t not practice.  It give pause for thought when you really think about what are you practicing today, right in this moment… Being busy? Getting the tasks off the list? Evaluating everything you do? Judging those around you? Feeling stuck?  Avoiding challenges?  Or maybe an appreciation for nature? Gratitude for our good fortune? What do you practice frequently? Maybe being mindful, compassionate with ourselves and others? What are some of the habits that you have practiced almost to perfection,? Do they still serve you?

Imagine coming to a place where you could choose to use or lose habits that have a long history and the possibility of creating new habits was totally available to you? What would life look like from this place of imagining? What would fall away? What would replace it? We humans are always practicing, what do you choose to practice today? If you would like to change what you are practicing or refine your way of being in the world so that you are coming from a place that is more in line with who you truly are please feel free to set up a telephone or in person appointment, Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more, Tara@HeartMindConsulting.com